Signs of a terrible relationship (or Insanity)

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I would like to introduce you all to my new boyfriend. His name is: Homework. He keeps me up very late at night indeed and is quite active. One has to have quite a lot of stamina to keep up with such a lively man. I see him 24-7; 7 days a week, and he’s with me wherever I go.

Now if you’re reading this, I am asking you to help me, I would very much like to get out of this relationship as it’s taking over my life; but there are forces known as teachers keeping us together…

God I wish I was single…

-Help,

Sydney Delancy

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Update: I’ve also started to have an affair. It’s called Research Project. I told Homework about it, but the sad part is I think the sick bastard likes it. Something about group parties…